Valentine's Top Ten
Reasons why being single every day of the year is better than having a significant other on Valentine's Day!!
1: The bathroom is and always shall remain MY domain!
2: The entire bed is mine and I shall sprawl every which way, snoring as loud as I can and no one can say a thing!
3: I can eat a can of green beans with butter flavoring on it for dinner and my "significant other" is content with bologna and cheese, a banana and Top Ramen.
4: I have my own money. I get to do whatever with my money, whenever, without ever having to ask or OK it with someone.
5: I can sob openly at "Extreme Home Makeover" and Ty never makes fun of me.
6: Laundry. Need I say more? Having the kid's alone is enough. Men's underwear.
7: Flirting with anyone, anytime without any guilt.
8: Being left alone when I am on my period.
9: The freedom to roam where I may and not having to share holidays with families.
10:Exercising in my living room and flopping around like a beached whale, my son thinks I am cool and dancing. A MAN would be horrified, disgusted and hysterical and I would no longer do it, thus ruining my health for a man! (Although serious bouts of marathon sex would probably be enough exercise to keep me healthy. I would probably be happier, as a result.)
God, I hate Valentine's Day.
1: The bathroom is and always shall remain MY domain!
2: The entire bed is mine and I shall sprawl every which way, snoring as loud as I can and no one can say a thing!
3: I can eat a can of green beans with butter flavoring on it for dinner and my "significant other" is content with bologna and cheese, a banana and Top Ramen.
4: I have my own money. I get to do whatever with my money, whenever, without ever having to ask or OK it with someone.
5: I can sob openly at "Extreme Home Makeover" and Ty never makes fun of me.
6: Laundry. Need I say more? Having the kid's alone is enough. Men's underwear.
7: Flirting with anyone, anytime without any guilt.
8: Being left alone when I am on my period.
9: The freedom to roam where I may and not having to share holidays with families.
10:Exercising in my living room and flopping around like a beached whale, my son thinks I am cool and dancing. A MAN would be horrified, disgusted and hysterical and I would no longer do it, thus ruining my health for a man! (Although serious bouts of marathon sex would probably be enough exercise to keep me healthy. I would probably be happier, as a result.)
God, I hate Valentine's Day.
posted by Lori | 5:59 PM
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