Funny(scary) story part deux

Another Sunday. Gentle afternoon breezes blowing the curtains out into the room. Plentiful sunshine. Birthday parties. Ahh, summer is flirting with us here in SE Oregon.

As promised... Part 2

So, the questions floated upon the agitated air... 'Shall I turn tail and run for my life? If so, would it be wise to actually turn my back on this animal?'

I backed up the slick steps, one at a time. Slipping once or twice, humiliation and anger burning acid upon my tongue. I know, I know, wimp. I was beyond incensed at this point. Ranch girls don't get run off by mere animals, for crying out loud! BUT a plan had started to flicker inside my otherwise stunned senseless brain. I had a brand new bottle of Windex in the house. Anyone with cats knows that ammonia makes for quite the deterrent and put ammonia into a spray form and BINGO! We have ourselves a handy little weapon.

So, the battle commenced and I used the entire bottle on him. First, I dumped it on him, a sneak attack from above. He wasn't predicting that, in fact, I think he was still setting in the spot I left him, chortling to himself over stupid girls. I opened the before mentioned window, leaned out over the platform and dumped a quarter of it on his head. Whooo buddy, he was beside himself. Spitting, hissing, he turned and ran, only to stop when I laughed. Eyes slitted as he plotted my demise. It was a good thing I could duck back into the window and slam it shut because I was not putting it past him to leap to the platform and plaster himself to my face as was no doubt his plan. All the good it did was to move him a yard or so away from the tree and out of dumping range.

So I had to go out and actually spray it at him. I spray enough at him that I get him to the corner of the house, far enough away that I am feeling I might have a chance at getting the fricking cat out of the tree. I backtracked to the tree until my back was pressed against it, not daring to take my eyes of the great white one as I reach up to the cat. At that point, I had to chance it and turn towards the tree because apparently, when I was so irresponsible and left the cat outside, she had found my hidden supply of SuperGlue and glued herself to the tree. I would pull on her from her belly and the only thing that would move was some fur. She was NOT coming down from that tree to face the demon and I can't say that I blame her. He was just a tad too much man for anyone. As I was attempting to peel her off of the bark, I heard the crunching of leaves coming up behind me. Instantly, my heart was in my throat and I was saying the Lord's Prayer because I knew that the end was near.

Cradling the idiot animal that got me into this mess, I turned. Hysteria working it's way up. In my mind's eye, I see all the white fur surrounding his red eyes. **Editors note: Looking back, it's very probable that said animal DID NOT have red eyes. Although, his character traits more than made up for the cosmetic loss of evil, devil eyeballs** So slowly I moved because the first rule in dealing with any kind of wild animal is to move slowly so that they don't perceive you to be a threat. However, I have already proved that while I might not be a major one, I am some sort of threat to the probability of the demon spawning.

And there stood the child. My sweet innocent boy. I was afraid for his mortal soul! And screaming at him to get his ass in the house RIGHT FUCKING NOW! It does not occur to me until much later that the boy came from around the front of the house and therefore, had to have come across Satan. I spent the night alternately waking him up to make sure he wasn't speaking in tongues or a demon voice, checking his pupils and studying him for any signs of possession.

The wicked animal, who now senses that he has lost the battle, is slithering around the corner, calling to Twitch. He is all sweetness and light and actually SIMPERING at her. Coquettish in manner and black at heart. Isn't that just like a man?