hit me with your best shot

WORD OF CAUTION: This post contains information that is really rather disgusting and delves into the world of one sick bitch, otherwise known as Smellie aka the skank that constantly takes my world, shakes it, and steps on all of the little plastic people, breaking them into bits...

I will tell you all what she has done.

Tall, dark, and handsome was here last week. He comes home every 6 months or so. When he comes home, we usually end up in bed together, at least once. Yes, he is my good fucking friend. Take heart, I don't constantly sleep with people harboring a devil may care attitude. In fact, by the time he comes home, I am usually starving for him. While the sex is good, it's the after chat I really like. He becomes a different person, let's his guard down and turns into this man that not too many people see. Generally, he comes off as this big, dumb, goofy guy but afterward, he reveals his intelligence and charm as we bitch and complain and try to solve the world's problems. Conversation that he offers is really quite rare in these parts, as most of the men I talk to laugh when i say something semi-intelligent re: world affairs, or about something outside of our village. You can tell by their eyes that while they KNOW it should have been funny, inside they are thinking "What the fuck is she talking about? Should I go get a dictionary or whatever it is called?". I get bored quickly. Anyway, Mr. TDH (I weary of typing out the whole damn thing) and I have fun, but we are just friends, officially. He comes (? Really I am not making a play on words!) and we have our fun and whenever we go out, it's with the sole purpose of him and I meeting up and when he leaves, we return to our previously scheduled programming. This time, however...

He and I had two nights together. And me, being the starved one that I was, after the second night, could hardly walk. Seriously. He's really rather well endowed and Lori's really rather not made for accommodating him. Cough, cough. It's all fun and everything, but there is really a price to pay for my wanton ways. The second night, after our mattress play, he went into the bathroom and by the time he made it back, I was fully clothed. He was disappointed "What? What about round 2 and 3 and 4? I told you I was feeling 'froggy' tonight!" To which I responded "Well, it's a damn good thing you have two functioning hands because I can NOT take any more abuse. Sex more than once per night with YOU is literally tearing me apart." He laughed, apologized, was embarrassed and then asked me to take him to his truck. He didn't want to be stuck at C's house "You know, just in case."

P.S. Him and I had talked about Smellie. We were, I thought, in total agreement of what a nasty skank she is.

So, I took him to his truck and motored on down to the bar to buy a pack of ciggies. Smellie and C were there. Smellie was all over me, asking if I had got laid and how happy she was for me because she knew how much I liked him and high fiving it and generally, just putting on a good show of camaraderie. And I was reveling in it. It had been so long since I felt like we were anything but circling around each other. I was getting ready to leave and asked her if she was going home and she said "No, I think I'm going to go up to C's. I really like talking with him and since he's leaving in the morning..." Warning bells DID go off in my head. But I thought Nah, she wouldn't mess with him. At least not while the scent of our activities is still warm on his body. WRONG.

What I can put together is that she started bragging about what good head she gives (oh yes, folks) and TDH, being the stoned male that he is, took it as the gauntlet had been thrown and took her up on the offer and so she proceeded to give him head, mere hours after he had sex with me.

Don't get me wrong, I am horrified and disgusted by his actions. But he is, after all, a MAN and I am really not surprised. We all know that they are the basest of organisms. Anything to do with sex and they are all over it. Add some weed and some alcohol to the mix and, really, ANYTHING can happen. TDH has always been the one to take chances, sexually. I am creeped out that he would let her do that so soon after... But I'm not MAD, he isn't mine to get mad over. I know that and that's probably the only thing that helps.

HER, on the other hand. WTF? What is with the "I know how much you like him and I'm happy for you"? What is with going down on someone hours after he lay with someone else? My god. It blows me away, the complete and total nastiness that she is. The fact that she would DO that, trying to garner his favor.

To sum it up, he walked into our friends' house next door and said "Yep, she really is as nasty and fucking sick as we all thought she was." And the next night was New Year's, in which, he kissed me so thoroughly I was a little bit embarrassed and then turned into a dick head and left me stranded, which I'm wondering if he was feeling a little sheepish, himself.

So, I don't have anything left for her. I am done. And the only words that fucking whore will ever hear me say, directly, TO her after this is "So, Smellie, how do I taste? I knew you liked my sloppy seconds, I just wasn't aware that you were so EAGER for them".

I did put a caution up there!! It's disgusting and rather junior high-ish, I admit. And a word to the wise women who know me, should you notice that I am waffling and hemming and hawing over forgiving her, please remind me of this. Remind me of how hurt and angry and disgusted I am right now. Remind me that if I give her an inch she will take 10 fucking miles and she doesn't deserve anything from me, save a total ass whipping. Thank you. Also, know that I am down, but not out. Bitch wants to play the game, she had better re-evaluate the game plan because I am SO not letting her win.