Running Out Of Days
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Let's see how much Lori can screw things up with any male that comes within a hairs breadth of enjoying her company this year, shall we?
To start things off on the proper note, she went out properly attired, hair straightened and slinky black Johnny Cash shirt sliding against perfumed skin . The evening was fun, kisses were shared, hugs were plenty and drinks were in abundance. Lori was having a really good time until she stepped out (or stayed out) on the sidewalk to catch some air with a Lucifer look alike (and we know how Lori likes those dark and dangerous men!!). Nothing happened except for a few awkward tries at copping a feel and Lori, trying to dance away gracefully. Given the state of drunkenness at the time, it was not in the least bit graceful.
Tall, dark, and handsome had a sort of peeved air about him when I came in, but he still agreed to take me home so that Merce could bring Steve home. What happened between then and the point of leaving, I'm not quite sure about. All I know was I was really rather unsteady and because I was unsure of my ability to walk or even stand, I was sitting, quietly talking to my wheel chair bound friend, waiting for Mr. Handsome to take me home and all of a sudden, he's putting on his coat and telling me he's going to give some friends a ride home and "get really fucking high, and hey! you think you can find another ride home?" All the while competing with another friend for the attentions of Sasqwench (a girl whose sexual exploits remain quite questionable and a trifle scary for someone of my delicate nature).
I get so fucking sick of men and their bullshit, I feel like ripping someone's head off. Preferably his, decked as it is, with his big goofy ears.
I know he might have been irritated by us being out there alone (but really! I NEEDED air, and 6 or 7 glasses of ice water, and it's not like he was willing to stand out there and hold me up so I wasn't drowning in a mud/ice puddle) and that's the only thing I can think of. That and Sasqwench and her air of sleazy sexual exploits sucking him in. God knows, it can't be all that fucking facial hair that the men find so appealing. I, personally, believe that it's the air of "I'll fuck farm animals for more drugs! And you can watch!" vibe that she emanates.
*SIGH* Oh well. The worst part is, he's leaving tomorrow and won't be back for 4-6 months and this will be hanging over 'us' whatever this is. I hate having people mad at me, unless they have royally pissed ME off, and then, well, fuck them, it's their problem. Running out of days and I'm too chickenshit to go find him, mostly scared of having put him off of our friendship because I hurt his feelings. Especially seeing as how he's the only one I am willing to have sex with, anymore. That whole thing of knowing what you are getting. That sounds bad and if I thought, for a moment, that he was putting me in danger of getting anything but off, I'd totally drop his ass.
Sometimes I do really feel like there is no one out there for me. Sometimes, I wonder why I do stupid shit like piss men off with my overt friendliness, but hey, if you don't want ME to lay claim to you, don't be fucking trying to lay claim here, buddy. I suppose there is still some growing up left to do here. Nice, I am so looking forward to it.
Let's see how much Lori can screw things up with any male that comes within a hairs breadth of enjoying her company this year, shall we?
To start things off on the proper note, she went out properly attired, hair straightened and slinky black Johnny Cash shirt sliding against perfumed skin . The evening was fun, kisses were shared, hugs were plenty and drinks were in abundance. Lori was having a really good time until she stepped out (or stayed out) on the sidewalk to catch some air with a Lucifer look alike (and we know how Lori likes those dark and dangerous men!!). Nothing happened except for a few awkward tries at copping a feel and Lori, trying to dance away gracefully. Given the state of drunkenness at the time, it was not in the least bit graceful.
Tall, dark, and handsome had a sort of peeved air about him when I came in, but he still agreed to take me home so that Merce could bring Steve home. What happened between then and the point of leaving, I'm not quite sure about. All I know was I was really rather unsteady and because I was unsure of my ability to walk or even stand, I was sitting, quietly talking to my wheel chair bound friend, waiting for Mr. Handsome to take me home and all of a sudden, he's putting on his coat and telling me he's going to give some friends a ride home and "get really fucking high, and hey! you think you can find another ride home?" All the while competing with another friend for the attentions of Sasqwench (a girl whose sexual exploits remain quite questionable and a trifle scary for someone of my delicate nature).
I get so fucking sick of men and their bullshit, I feel like ripping someone's head off. Preferably his, decked as it is, with his big goofy ears.
I know he might have been irritated by us being out there alone (but really! I NEEDED air, and 6 or 7 glasses of ice water, and it's not like he was willing to stand out there and hold me up so I wasn't drowning in a mud/ice puddle) and that's the only thing I can think of. That and Sasqwench and her air of sleazy sexual exploits sucking him in. God knows, it can't be all that fucking facial hair that the men find so appealing. I, personally, believe that it's the air of "I'll fuck farm animals for more drugs! And you can watch!" vibe that she emanates.
*SIGH* Oh well. The worst part is, he's leaving tomorrow and won't be back for 4-6 months and this will be hanging over 'us' whatever this is. I hate having people mad at me, unless they have royally pissed ME off, and then, well, fuck them, it's their problem. Running out of days and I'm too chickenshit to go find him, mostly scared of having put him off of our friendship because I hurt his feelings. Especially seeing as how he's the only one I am willing to have sex with, anymore. That whole thing of knowing what you are getting. That sounds bad and if I thought, for a moment, that he was putting me in danger of getting anything but off, I'd totally drop his ass.
Sometimes I do really feel like there is no one out there for me. Sometimes, I wonder why I do stupid shit like piss men off with my overt friendliness, but hey, if you don't want ME to lay claim to you, don't be fucking trying to lay claim here, buddy. I suppose there is still some growing up left to do here. Nice, I am so looking forward to it.
posted by Lori | 4:30 PM
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