I'm A Loser, Baby
After a couple of days' thought, I feel better and have come to the conclusion that I am a whiner.
While I still feel that I might possibly be on the long road to solitary senility, I am, today, ok with it. As I said to Merce, some days it really gets me down and blue, but other days, it just IS and it doesn't set at the forefront of my mind, whittling away at my happiness.
Busy, busy. Holidays, work, holiday party FOR work. I seem to be in a constant state of "what have I forgot?". I apologize for lack of posts, but I sincerely hope that you'd rather miss me than read about a possible trichinosis exposure phone call from the Department of Agriculture. Or the meeting that the grant commission wants to set up for Jan. 4th.
The meeting is taking up a bunch of space in my head right now because as acting president, what if they want ME to speak? Ack. I can't, can't, can't. If I could write in my response and go over it with spell check and a fine tooth comb, I would be ok. But I don't like for people to stare at me and wait, expectantly. It wipes my mind blank and I can't form coherent thoughts, much less a semi-intelligent answer. Wonderful. One more think to ponder over the holidays, adding to the stress and misery. I am keeping the faith that the one board member who is 'in-the-know' will be there and will graciously take over, as is her wont. I suppose if I glower and make idiotic moves towards her enough, she will. Hahaha. Either that or eat some more raw chicken, so that I may be sick. I think I'll face the shooting squad, rather than feel like I've already stood and been showered with bullets. Thankyouverymuch.
Tomorrow is the school Christmas play. One of my favorite things of the holiday season. I so do love to watch all the kiddies sing at the top of their lungs and whisper their lines. They are so cute and so innocent. It reminds me of my own Christmas plays passed. Of being dressed up in hot, velvet dresses and tights and shoes that pinched. Singing and whispering and waiting anxiously for the end, so that I may take my turn on Santa's lap and get my own bag full of candy. I am thinking that it's that innocence that I miss.
While I still feel that I might possibly be on the long road to solitary senility, I am, today, ok with it. As I said to Merce, some days it really gets me down and blue, but other days, it just IS and it doesn't set at the forefront of my mind, whittling away at my happiness.
Busy, busy. Holidays, work, holiday party FOR work. I seem to be in a constant state of "what have I forgot?". I apologize for lack of posts, but I sincerely hope that you'd rather miss me than read about a possible trichinosis exposure phone call from the Department of Agriculture. Or the meeting that the grant commission wants to set up for Jan. 4th.
The meeting is taking up a bunch of space in my head right now because as acting president, what if they want ME to speak? Ack. I can't, can't, can't. If I could write in my response and go over it with spell check and a fine tooth comb, I would be ok. But I don't like for people to stare at me and wait, expectantly. It wipes my mind blank and I can't form coherent thoughts, much less a semi-intelligent answer. Wonderful. One more think to ponder over the holidays, adding to the stress and misery. I am keeping the faith that the one board member who is 'in-the-know' will be there and will graciously take over, as is her wont. I suppose if I glower and make idiotic moves towards her enough, she will. Hahaha. Either that or eat some more raw chicken, so that I may be sick. I think I'll face the shooting squad, rather than feel like I've already stood and been showered with bullets. Thankyouverymuch.
Tomorrow is the school Christmas play. One of my favorite things of the holiday season. I so do love to watch all the kiddies sing at the top of their lungs and whisper their lines. They are so cute and so innocent. It reminds me of my own Christmas plays passed. Of being dressed up in hot, velvet dresses and tights and shoes that pinched. Singing and whispering and waiting anxiously for the end, so that I may take my turn on Santa's lap and get my own bag full of candy. I am thinking that it's that innocence that I miss.
posted by Lori | 7:14 PM
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