Loyal... or stupid?

I just got finished working out for an hour. I get so burned out on this shit. I bust my ass and bust it and yet, my ass has not decreased. Ok, it does. I have to work really freaking hard to lose maybe 4 pounds in 2-and-a-half months. If I DO lose 4 pounds, it is quickly replaced should I try to quit smoking or take a break so that I don't get burned out. I do get burned out pretty quickly, though. So I suppose that I should only be losing 4 pounds. I don't know. I eat fairly healthy. I try and eat my fruits or veggies every day and generally try and keep the fat content and calories down. I work out at least 30 minutes a day four/five days out of the week (many times, doubling that) and yet.... I just keep hanging in.

I live in a small town. A VERY small town. There are no available men for a responsible single mom here. I develop friendships with men and hope to try and make something more of it in time, but it always ends up friends. For one reason or another. And yet... I just keep hanging in.

I look at my son. He, here lately, has become a huge social concern for me. He calls me names, is prone to awful fits and the 'I hate you!!'s and he doesn't seem to be socially functional. Hopefully, it's his age and not the fact that I am a single mom who doesn't have a clue as to what she is doing. And yet, I just keep hanging in.

Do we see a pattern here? Is it that I am loyal or stupid?