It seems all I have to bitch about these days is the weather... Another 3 or so inches. Yuck.
The first 3 or 4 snow falls are charming and make you feel all winter-ish and like a kid. After the 15th or 16th, you are ready to climb the fucking walls, throw your hands in the air and move to a climate where the bugs are something to be reckoned with.
My aunt lives down by Phoenix AZ and she is always after us to come down and visit. I, however, am seriously hesitant to go some place that 9 times out of 10, when a bug hits the floor, IT MAKES NOISE. Oh, the horror. I'm not a bug person (crickets CREEP me out to the point of jumping around on the couch, hysterically screaming, ala Tom Cruise style. Although, what spews from deep within is quite the opposite of what Mr. Cruise was supposedly feeling. And the whole thing with Katie Holmes? Seriously disturbing.) Anywhoo, the tales of tarantulas running rampant and of rattlesnakes wallowing in swimming pools makes me somewhat frightened to willingly subject myself to such sources of immense anxiety.
I am thinking, however, of taking off for a few days. Merce and I are close, very close. And we spend a lot of time together. When every little thing starts to turn into an irritation betwixt us, I know that we need to spend some time apart, spend some time away from each other to realize that the little things shouldn't matter so much. No, I'm not mad at you, Murph. It's that same old thing. If we don't spend some time missing each other, we're going to end up fighting and having to deal with all of the subsequent guilt that goes along with it. And as much as they say fighting is healthy and helpful in a relationship, ours always turn into such ugly scenes that I don't think they are helpful in any way, shape or form. Besides, the heart supposedly grows fonder during and after an absence, correct? That can't hurt. It just feels like everything is pressing me to the ground and I need some time to myself (with Tottler in tow, I suppose) to take a breather. And I know that she gets irritated at me for poking my nose into her business, even when it's her best interests I am fretting over. I know that the fact that I cannot provide my ready acceptance of her and S is a bone of contention between us. And I know that it's none of my business. I know that I need to set back and let her do what she is going to do and the fact that I can't is starting to wear on our relationship. So I will take myself and Tottler away for 3-4 days and hopefully, crisis will be averted. BTW, I HATE the snippiness that we've had with each other the last few days. I hate the fact that you feel defensive when I say something innocent and I hate that I feel like I am constantly fucking stuff up and weary of defending myself. It's ok, though. I'm sure that by the time I come back from wherever I take myself, it will all be ok, hopefully. I hate to fight as much as you do and when it's with you, it's devastating to me.
Last night, I watched Titanic. I hadn't watched it in years and I had forgotten how freakin' sad that movie was. I bawled, naturally, it seems these days I am a virtual faucet. The part that gets to me the worst, (believe it or not, it's not the part where Jack is telling Rose to not say goodbye and that he loves her blah, blah, blah. In reality, he'd be telling her "Bitch, you're up on the headboard, quit your dramatics and suck it up. I'm the one in the fucking water!" or he'd be swimming around looking for another headboard or up ON the headboard with her. The fact that he only tried once to get up there has always irritated me) is the mother (Irish in accent) telling her two kids (boy and girl, I believe) the story, in the bed, while the water pours in and right before that, the old man and woman, lying on the bed, spooned together as the water rushes up to the side of the bed. At that point, the tears are rolling. Although that's the only real part that makes me bawl. I am such a sap. If someone cries in front of me, tears well up in my eyes. I will bawl at anything and everything, yet I still have the reputation of being a bitch. *sigh* Then, we started watching Ladder 49. Good thing we turned that off, or I would have been a mess.
I suppose I should go. A friend is coming to have me cut her hair today. I haven't cut her hair in ages and I am hoping that I'll be able to remember just exactly how it was once I get my hands on her. She's pretty easy going though and I think it should be alright. The boy needs a clipping, as well. Might do him at the same time so that I don't have to pick up hair from the floor and off of me two times today. As well as all the laundry and vacuuming and all that because yesterday, I was a sloth and read a whole book. I love weekends. Later.
Oh and P.S. Clint was bailed out of jail and is home, so I will go and have a long chat with him later. He is thinking that he will be serving some time in prison and we need to figure out what to do with him as an employee, whether he is going to come back, how long he thinks he'll be gone, etc. I am happy to see him, but discouraged that the first night home, he was out having a few drinks.
The first 3 or 4 snow falls are charming and make you feel all winter-ish and like a kid. After the 15th or 16th, you are ready to climb the fucking walls, throw your hands in the air and move to a climate where the bugs are something to be reckoned with.
My aunt lives down by Phoenix AZ and she is always after us to come down and visit. I, however, am seriously hesitant to go some place that 9 times out of 10, when a bug hits the floor, IT MAKES NOISE. Oh, the horror. I'm not a bug person (crickets CREEP me out to the point of jumping around on the couch, hysterically screaming, ala Tom Cruise style. Although, what spews from deep within is quite the opposite of what Mr. Cruise was supposedly feeling. And the whole thing with Katie Holmes? Seriously disturbing.) Anywhoo, the tales of tarantulas running rampant and of rattlesnakes wallowing in swimming pools makes me somewhat frightened to willingly subject myself to such sources of immense anxiety.
I am thinking, however, of taking off for a few days. Merce and I are close, very close. And we spend a lot of time together. When every little thing starts to turn into an irritation betwixt us, I know that we need to spend some time apart, spend some time away from each other to realize that the little things shouldn't matter so much. No, I'm not mad at you, Murph. It's that same old thing. If we don't spend some time missing each other, we're going to end up fighting and having to deal with all of the subsequent guilt that goes along with it. And as much as they say fighting is healthy and helpful in a relationship, ours always turn into such ugly scenes that I don't think they are helpful in any way, shape or form. Besides, the heart supposedly grows fonder during and after an absence, correct? That can't hurt. It just feels like everything is pressing me to the ground and I need some time to myself (with Tottler in tow, I suppose) to take a breather. And I know that she gets irritated at me for poking my nose into her business, even when it's her best interests I am fretting over. I know that the fact that I cannot provide my ready acceptance of her and S is a bone of contention between us. And I know that it's none of my business. I know that I need to set back and let her do what she is going to do and the fact that I can't is starting to wear on our relationship. So I will take myself and Tottler away for 3-4 days and hopefully, crisis will be averted. BTW, I HATE the snippiness that we've had with each other the last few days. I hate the fact that you feel defensive when I say something innocent and I hate that I feel like I am constantly fucking stuff up and weary of defending myself. It's ok, though. I'm sure that by the time I come back from wherever I take myself, it will all be ok, hopefully. I hate to fight as much as you do and when it's with you, it's devastating to me.
Last night, I watched Titanic. I hadn't watched it in years and I had forgotten how freakin' sad that movie was. I bawled, naturally, it seems these days I am a virtual faucet. The part that gets to me the worst, (believe it or not, it's not the part where Jack is telling Rose to not say goodbye and that he loves her blah, blah, blah. In reality, he'd be telling her "Bitch, you're up on the headboard, quit your dramatics and suck it up. I'm the one in the fucking water!" or he'd be swimming around looking for another headboard or up ON the headboard with her. The fact that he only tried once to get up there has always irritated me) is the mother (Irish in accent) telling her two kids (boy and girl, I believe) the story, in the bed, while the water pours in and right before that, the old man and woman, lying on the bed, spooned together as the water rushes up to the side of the bed. At that point, the tears are rolling. Although that's the only real part that makes me bawl. I am such a sap. If someone cries in front of me, tears well up in my eyes. I will bawl at anything and everything, yet I still have the reputation of being a bitch. *sigh* Then, we started watching Ladder 49. Good thing we turned that off, or I would have been a mess.
I suppose I should go. A friend is coming to have me cut her hair today. I haven't cut her hair in ages and I am hoping that I'll be able to remember just exactly how it was once I get my hands on her. She's pretty easy going though and I think it should be alright. The boy needs a clipping, as well. Might do him at the same time so that I don't have to pick up hair from the floor and off of me two times today. As well as all the laundry and vacuuming and all that because yesterday, I was a sloth and read a whole book. I love weekends. Later.
Oh and P.S. Clint was bailed out of jail and is home, so I will go and have a long chat with him later. He is thinking that he will be serving some time in prison and we need to figure out what to do with him as an employee, whether he is going to come back, how long he thinks he'll be gone, etc. I am happy to see him, but discouraged that the first night home, he was out having a few drinks.
posted by Lori | 7:59 AM
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