so, what's up?

I went and did the LEEP on Monday, the 17th. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. Truthfully, the worst parts were the third shot (#'s 1 & 2 were hardly a sting and some pressure). The third shot almost put me through the roof. I don't know why in the hell THAT one hurt so damn bad, but it did. The other really bad part was when the machine that the Dr. hooks the little thingamajig to, well, it started reading "error" or something. And if anyone is going to die because of 'accidental' electrocution whilst propping her legs up in stirrups, believe me, it would be yours truly. That further accelerated my heartbeat. The shots in the cervix were lidocaine and that shit screws me up, something fierce. My heart was racing, I was shaking like a meth addict 2 days after their last hit, sweat pouring off my face and my eyes, they did runneth over. I had a hard time convincing them that I really wasn't sobbing. They made me stay there for about 15 minutes afterward, to make sure that I wasn't about to keel over. But all in all, I'd give it almost the same score as a pap. With the exception of the shots, it wasn't very uncomfortable at all.

It's the after that is not so good. So. I talked with the doctor on Thursday the 13th because my period hadn't started and I wanted to know if she wanted to reschedule. Yep, you guessed it. My period started the next morning. Anyway, the worst of it was over by the time I went in for the LEEP. But the residual cramping and uncomfortable-ness of my period is magnified probably ten times since the LEEP. I am hurting, to some degree, constantly. Hopefully, it's just this time. And all of the trauma to my poor cervix and not going to be a regular occurrence with my period. That would fucking suck.

And as a result of not feeling whole and 'normal', I have started bingeing like a mad woman about to embark on a 3 month ordeal in the desert with no food to guide the way. Right at the moment, I am so uncomfortable and fatty feeling. I am chugging water constantly, trying to beat the bloat, but my god, what I wouldn't give for some relief! Tomorrow, it's back to spinach salads and cottage cheese for lunch. Blech. I feel awful.

So that's what's been going on. Today was magical in all of it's springtime glory. The sun was soft and nary a breeze. Green everywhere, birds calling, bugs flying in the window to take out your eyeball (or your sister's, whomever happens to be driving at the moment).

Oh, and to add some fun to the mix, tall, dark and handsome will be home, soon. He's currently at his sister's house and I'm thinking he'll be home by the weekend. Interesting to see how he reacts (or doesn't) to the drama that occurred after he last was here.