Spring is sprung and various life observations

Today, I sit at home with a pukey kid. I am proud of the fact that he's so calm about it while inwardly, I try to remain so. I was on the phone with Merce when I heard "Mom" in the normal, come here and make sure I did ok before I get off the toilet voice. Imagine my surprise when I walked in to find him up against the wall, pale and shaky "I threw up on the couch and then in the toilet. I'm sorry I didn't make it to the toilet in time." In such a calm, matter-of-fact voice.

The reason it amazes me is because while I might have outwardly remained calm, anytime he's 'urpy sick' and throws up wherever, my insides are having epic sized fits at having to be in the nearby vicinity of it. And, yet, I managed to not convey that somehow to him. All the panic of him actually doing it has somehow remained hidden away behind the loving mask of MOM and so, to him, it seems it isn't a big deal. Now, if I can only keep relaying the mask of calm throughout the rest of his tender years, who knows? He might grow into a 'normal' and balanced individual. Instead of being the paranoid, worried child he so often appears to be these days.

He's recently gone off the deep end about the fire alarms. Again. He worries, and frets, and worries some more. He cries and cringes at the imposing (it is to him) sight of that familiar white orb, blinking high up on the wall or on the ceiling. The newscaster was talking about a felon being arrested for having fire arms on his person and Ty freaked, thinking that he had said "fire alarms" and that set it off for yesterday. Merce says he's just being a kid and going through his 'own thing' with the fire alarms. I believe he is, too. But you and I know, as parents, we all have these little voices inside of us that are saying "Hahaha, that's what YOU think. He really IS fucked up over the whole thing and the longer you put off addressing it, the worse it gets!". We'll see. I'll give him a few more months and if it isn't any better, I'll ask the doctor what he thinks about it. I can see him going to kindergarten and having to live through a fire drill. That won't be funny and he will NOT find it exciting and a chance to get out in the fresh air like we did as kids.

Seriously. This is how my little man looks at this shit. The daycare provider was making quesadillas and the oil got to smoking in the pan, setting off the fire alarm. She went and reassured everyone (she thought) that it was just some smoke from the pan on the stove, aired the place out a bit and went back to what she was doing, only to realize she hadn't seen Ty in there with everyone and then remembering that he has this 'thing' with fire alarms after the hotel incident, she went looking for him. My precious guy was standing outside, snow falling all around him, looking at her with big eyes, wet with tears and he said to her "I was the only one who got out of the house when the fire alarm started". Poor guy. She felt like shit, but honestly, you don't even think about it. Because in our day-to-day lives, fire alarms are really the least of our worries, by themselves. We know that they are innocuous and that they don't start fires, but he is convinced that they do. My heart breaks for him and I'm just not sure what to do.

Well, Spring has finally sprung, the grass is 'ris, now where the fuck the flowers is?

Above ditty courtesy of my dad who, while managing ranches and clocking in thousands upon thousands of driving hours per year, has made up a hundred different little ditties about all sorts of things (snot being one of them).

Anyway, spring is here, I am surviving daylight savings time (by the mere skin of my fingernails, I tell ya') and green grass is sprouting everywhere. The cows are out, the AI heifers are going through their yearly 'thing' where they are given some sort of heat inducing meds and then are artificially inseminated, after a week of watching all of them mount each other. It sounds awful and it is, but it's really kind of funny and amusing to us ranch folk.

Every year, at this time, I am amazed with how in tune, we as humans, are with nature. Blood starts circulating at a faster pace. Everyone is ready to fight or f**k. And then, as the days start to level out and everyone gets used to the weather and the somewhat sunny days, things go back to normal. I am one that gets the itch to make everything right and spotless and organized and I am now sitting here looking at walls, wondering if I have the energy or the lack of brain function, to get up and wash them. I don't think so, which is why I'm focusing on my laundry, instead. And contemplating, should I go and find something to eat, that isn't very smelly or obvious so I can hide in the laundry room and eat it before he notices? The poor thing, his mother sneaking food so that he can't see and want it, too.