Rambling on
God, a week. I am so pathetic. I DID actually sit here, Saturday evening, fingers poised, however nothing was forthcoming.
Life is rambling along. The grass is turning green (already???!!). Spring winds bring about spring clouds. The winds kick up my allergies and I turn into a floating head. I literally FEEL like a floating head, although, nothing in particular FLOATS around in aforementioned over-sized noggin.
I am once again broke, due to the paying of doctor bills and once I get into the mode of paying off debt, I always tend to go overboard and end up screwing myself. My little cushion of a few hundred dollars is gone, just because I wanted to pay the doctor bills off sooner. *sigh* They charge $5 / month that they have to carry you. What the hell is fucking $25 in the long run? Dammit all to hell.
We are talking barbecue this weekend. We'll see. So far, it looks like it might snow or rain or both. But we'll see.
Last weekend, Merce was propositioned by a cop. An off duty one, but still. Weird. She wasn't the only one. He asked me if I wanted him to "cuff and stuff" me and in which order. I was slightly (ok, REALLY) disgusted. I like him, I do and I'll hang out and have a few drinks with him and laugh at his wit, but when it comes to him trying to play grab-ass with me, I get a little disturbed. Not to mention, he's old enough to be my father. If he was younger, that'd be a whole different feeling!! I am, after all, human.
The boy is starting his whole fear of fire thing again. Tonight, he huddled close to my side on the couch, watching TV. Whimpering because we were watching Big Love and the dude's security alarm went off because of the horse in the back yard. I sigh and piss and moan, but he's scared. And as irrational as that fear might be, in my eyes, I must try to remember that to him, a little boy all of four years old, it's real and it's scary. I will have to work on that. I do let him cuddle with me, not so much to reassure him that he's ok, but to have the cuddle time with him. God knows 99% of the time, I feel him growing away from me at an almost physical level, anymore.
I think I'm going to go hop in the tub, shave my legs that are beginning to resemble Dale's (the hairy neighbor) and go to bed early. I did 3 miles today (walking and weights) and it wiped me out. My goal is 12 miles for the week. I don't think I am going to make it, but I'll give it a go.
And I will try to think of something deep and thought provoking before another seven days pass!!!
Life is rambling along. The grass is turning green (already???!!). Spring winds bring about spring clouds. The winds kick up my allergies and I turn into a floating head. I literally FEEL like a floating head, although, nothing in particular FLOATS around in aforementioned over-sized noggin.
I am once again broke, due to the paying of doctor bills and once I get into the mode of paying off debt, I always tend to go overboard and end up screwing myself. My little cushion of a few hundred dollars is gone, just because I wanted to pay the doctor bills off sooner. *sigh* They charge $5 / month that they have to carry you. What the hell is fucking $25 in the long run? Dammit all to hell.
We are talking barbecue this weekend. We'll see. So far, it looks like it might snow or rain or both. But we'll see.
Last weekend, Merce was propositioned by a cop. An off duty one, but still. Weird. She wasn't the only one. He asked me if I wanted him to "cuff and stuff" me and in which order. I was slightly (ok, REALLY) disgusted. I like him, I do and I'll hang out and have a few drinks with him and laugh at his wit, but when it comes to him trying to play grab-ass with me, I get a little disturbed. Not to mention, he's old enough to be my father. If he was younger, that'd be a whole different feeling!! I am, after all, human.
The boy is starting his whole fear of fire thing again. Tonight, he huddled close to my side on the couch, watching TV. Whimpering because we were watching Big Love and the dude's security alarm went off because of the horse in the back yard. I sigh and piss and moan, but he's scared. And as irrational as that fear might be, in my eyes, I must try to remember that to him, a little boy all of four years old, it's real and it's scary. I will have to work on that. I do let him cuddle with me, not so much to reassure him that he's ok, but to have the cuddle time with him. God knows 99% of the time, I feel him growing away from me at an almost physical level, anymore.
I think I'm going to go hop in the tub, shave my legs that are beginning to resemble Dale's (the hairy neighbor) and go to bed early. I did 3 miles today (walking and weights) and it wiped me out. My goal is 12 miles for the week. I don't think I am going to make it, but I'll give it a go.
And I will try to think of something deep and thought provoking before another seven days pass!!!
posted by Lori | 8:14 PM
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