Redneck and Republican and loving it!!

Let me preface this by saying: I love Sally Field. I love Brothers and Sisters. It's probably one of my favorites and I spent all last season gazing at Sally Field and worshipping her role as matriarch who is both adored and revered.

I remember first seeing her in Norma Rae. Who could forget her standing on the table at the , holding her 'Union' sign, refusing to leave and having to be man-handled out by 4 men? I was in awe, and to a degree, I still am.

However. That link? An appropriate response to Sally Field's "If mothers ruled the world, there would be no war" comment at the Emmys. In my humble opinion, it's an appropriate response, at any rate.

There is a soft spot in my heart for mothers whose children have not only gone off to war, but even more so for those who have lost their children IN war. My heart breaks for them each and every one a thousand times over. BUT... these children? They CHOSE to enlist and they knew the chances. They CHOSE to represent their country and while it isn't fair or right or even remotely OK, they went knowing that it was a possibility and still, they chose.

I am a patriot, through and through. I get teary eyed hearing the National Anthem. I salute the flag and have the utmost respect for veterans of any age. I have taught my son to remove his hat and to stand still and pay his respects to those who have made the choice to represent our country by donning a soldier's uniform and to reflect and pay respect to all that occurred before us to make this great Nation ours.

I get that people disagree with the war and you know? I do, too. To a degree. I agree that our soldiers have been in Iraq for long enough and should come home. Do I agree that we shouldn't have ever gone in the first place? I don't know. Part of me says that maybe we shouldn't have gotten involved, but the logical part of me (that rules ALL my decisions) says that if we HADN'T got involved, we would have been up shit creek before too much longer. Do I support the war? Yes and no. Do I speak out about any disagreement I might have about the war? No.

This is why: I am a patriot to the core. I love, support and defend my country. While the decision to keep our troops there, in Iraq, doesn't sit well with me, I support it because it is what our President decided and to flog his decision, or rabidly protest our involvement, I feel that I would be disrespecting our soldiers, our country and flag and, to me, that's treason. You can disagree, but to flout your anger at/with our government all over the news (Cindy Sheehan, you should be ashamed) seems to be a slap in the face to all those who CHOSE to fight for and/or with their country.

Last year, at the Labor Day fair in town, during the National Anthem, there was a man, a woman and their teen aged children who refused to stand during the National Anthem. They were sitting one row down from me and it was all I could do not to physically show my displeasure towards them. I was so angry that a person would dishonor MY country that way while in my country, I wanted to push them down the stairs.

I have never claimed to be anything but a Redneck, but make no mistake, I am a patriotic Redneck who also happens to be a fairly liberal Republican.

And to anyone who might disagree with me (I'm sure there are a few!!) I realize I might not be your cup of tea. Guess what? You might not be MINE either. But I get it, we're all different and I judge not on politics.

Day 14 of no more smokes for Lori

It is on it's way. My dad tried to fall over backwards today when he made one wrong step. Arthritis and the onset of cold weather. I've had my heater on consistently for the last 3 days. The weather is changing. Last night it rained and just stayed cold all night and most of the day.

I am on day 14 of quitting smoking. They say that days 7-14, the cravings come back pretty hard. I don't know. The cravings didn't seem any different than they have all this time before. I miss it and I probably always will. There have been a few times when I felt like bawling because I wanted a cig sooo bad but for some reason or another, I just talked myself out of wanting it and I haven't had one, even though I feel like my stress level has been exceptionally high this last week or so. Funny what happens when you make up your mind about something. Now, if I could just make up my mind about not eating everything that isn't nailed down, I'd be set!!! (thank you, adjustment period for birth control pills that makes me a hoover in Gap jeans!)

I looked for some kind of miracle that happens on day 14, but all I could find, really was this: " in two weeks, your circulation will increase and will continue to improve for the next 10 weeks". I never really seemed to have a whole lot of problems with my circulation so that was kind of a disappointing factoid. I wanted something more miraculous and amazing like" your lungs have healed 5% of the damage inflicted" or something to that degree. I want to feel like I have accomplished something dammit! Although, really just getting through 14 days without smoking after having smoked for 15 years is really, accomplishment enough.

hanging out and hanging on

Some days... I just want to go back to bed and start all over again. Some days, I also want to take my letter opener and inflict some serious damage upon all those fucking idiots I deal with.

One of our guys was arrested for domestic violence and we've been dealing with that.

One of our cooks is slowly driving every person around her insane with her incessant demands and whining. Not to mention the bad mouthing of my friend that she knows is my friend and yet, she continually snipes about her not only around me but TO me. I don't know why I haven't snapped and given her my honest opinion. Mostly, I suppose it is my job and I'm to be nice to everyone, the same.

NEWS FLASH: My kid is a brat. I got it, I lived through it, barely. There is always that first time and I admit, there were tears. I got the phone call from the teacher. To be completely honest with myself (believe me there was enough of "I'm a shitty parent" to last awhile) I knew that Ty would be having a bad day. He was tired and his allergies are kicking his ass. I also gave him allergy meds which affect him the same way they do me. We need a nap. However, he is now under strict rules and is grounded for not listening and for blatantly running through the sprinklers although he was told specifically not to ("I was sooo hot, Mom. It was right after soccer practice"). We'll see what happens. He has promised that he will come home with a stamp, every day from here on out. I think I scared my Dad a bit when I walked into his office, sat down and burst into tears. He was a tad... agog. He just kept telling me "It's just the boy growing up, Lori. It doesn't mean you are a crappy parent."
God bless him for trying.

AND, I am on day ten of no smoking. I am just barely hanging in there, by the skin on my fingernails, but I have vowed to at least make it through day 14. Some days are worse (*ahem* YESTERDAY), some aren't too bad. I'll get there, I'm sure. I just need to remember to take day by day.

Honestly? I'd chew a hole through my arm to have a cigarette right now.

Quit

I do apologize. I mean to get on here and post and ... it's always something.

Labor Day was a loooong ass weekend. We spent it on the go and children were sniveling and coughing. When my older sister comes to town and we actually have SOMETHING to do, like the rodeo/carnival/concert/Destruction Derby activities that were held this last weekend, it always strikes me how different our lives are. She is used to the 'go, go, go' lifestyle (and is rather good AT it) while I lumber along in my little sloth-like turtle ways. And when we have to do something or go somewhere when I am really tired and cranky, she cheerleads me along until I feel like I can manage. And then, she makes sure to keep the mood light all evening.

School has started (August 27th). My son has proclaimed first grade the 'best year ever'. I think that first grade's high status has fallen slightly since he realized he has to actually WORK. He still is acting like he enjoys it and I'm just happy that he's returning to some kind of schedule.

I let the routine go to hell this summer, because really, how easy is it to get your kid to go to bed while the sun is still up? Only, once I realized how much of a monster attitude he had when he was tired all of the time, he routine was already destroyed and school was just around the corner. Everybody say it with me: Lori is a lazy mom. I should have just done it, got him back on his routine, but I didn't because it was summer, for crying out loud. And I remember summers past, when all I wanted to do was stay up late and sleep in. Of course, I actually COULD sleep in because my mom wasn't prodding me to get up first thing so I could go to daycare.

The satan-like, axe murderer-ish conduct that was so unbecoming to my angel child this summer? IT WAS ALL MY FAULT! There, I've said it. I should have kept him to his routine. Now I know better.

And finally, I've quit smoking. It has only been a couple of days, but I tell you, it feels like WEEKS. I am sooo dang tired. I read that fatigue was one of the side-effects of nicotine withdrawal, ohmygod. I feel like I did when I was first pregnant, sitting in the corner of a bar,asleep while the music was blaring and drunk people were carousing. I could do that again, I'm sure. I know I am going to do it, this time, my mind-set is completely different. But it ain't easy and today, I am giving a friend of mine a ride to see a specialist about her shoulder in another town and she will be smoking all day and I will FIGHT to keep an even keel and not smoke. I declare it here, this morning. I will not smoke today! I WILL come back tonight and let you know how I did.

Gotta go arm myself for this day. I am putting my CommitLozenges in my purse so I don't forget the damn things again. I hate those things. They taste AWFUL.

**Edited to add: I spent the entire day in the car with a smoker. I did not make her get out and I continually assured her that she was fine smoking around me. And guess what? While there were times that I wanted to have one, it wasn't so bad that I actually caved! I conquered the first hurdle. I spent a whole day IN A CAR with a smoker and didn't smoke! Now, onto the next: the bar.**